"The Doctors" - Variety Show Review

For years now, I have been bombarded with strange tidbits of information regarding the daytime show "The Doctors" which airs all over North America on CBS. This show is a monster-baby of the long-running, recently ended "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "Dr. Phil". I caved after many years of avoidance, and due to utter lack of willpower to find the remote and change the channel, and watched my very first episode today in its entirety.

The main host seems to be Dr. Travis Stork, who is a bootleg version of a Brad Pitt-esque leading man. There are numerous other co-hosts, I think I counted up to five of them, each of which has a different 'specialty'. One is a plastic surgeon, who obviously thinks that the solution to every problem is going under the knife for one of supposedly "simple" procedures (of which they never explain the full spectrum of side-effects). Another doctor who seems to be the most genuine of the bunch is an OB-GYN who speaks in a more matter-of-fact way. On top of that they even have Jillian Michaels who is a fitness-guru, constantly sporting her spanx, as if she doesn't go anywhere in regular clothing. Now that I think about it, none of them ever seem to be wearing regular clothes, the doctors are usually wearing lab-coats or scrubs, except for the plastic surgeon who dresses like a mob boss. These so-called doctors are extremely hard to trust because of their appearance, they are so overly made-up that you cannot see a pore on their skin and they don't come across as having a shred of humanity. They are cold, concrete and downright seem like they don't care at all about the information they're dispelling or the people on the show. Also, can you trust a host who first came into notoriety through participating as a love interest on "The Bachelor" TV series? That's a rhetorical question because you can't.

This show has the makings of a reality soap-opera with a Gray's Anatomy fragmented plot. Basically each segment is a story about how one viewer or another has a medical issue and these doctors/hosts either defer to colleague or attempt to diagnose these very simple and obvious cases themselves. The majority of the information that is given on this show is extremely diluted for the audience and does not inform the public in a proper and intelligent way. Rather, after you've finished watching an episode you wonder if you've learned anything at all. You're definitely better off reading the Wikipedia article on a disease, or better yet, visit your doctor!

From the episode I watched, what I retained as information was that if you're unhappy with the way your face is sagging you should have plastic surgery, albeit you may even want to consider not even going under for the procedure (that's a disgusting thought, isn't it?). I also learned that if you have cankles, where there is no clear definition between your calf and your ankle, you should have liposuction to remove it or make your calf muscles bigger by bouncing up and down with really heavy dumbbells. What kind of advice is this? Am I dreaming? How can they actually be advising people to have plastic surgery when they haven't explored any other options? Why not focus on diet, water retention and sodium intake, why not focus on skin-care through natural means? This show exhibits little to no common sense.

Even if there's any shred of truth in this show, it is counter-balanced by the absolute recklessness of advising an entire demographic of what I assume to be mostly stay-at-home moms that they can be better looking and healthier through very little actual inconvenience by performing surgeries. Now I know a thing or two about surgeries, and if there's one piece of advice I can impart on my appreciated fellow readers, it is not to take any surgery lightly. The risks of secondary infection, scarring, drug addiction and a myriad of other factors are so large that I can assure you, you are much better off trying to diet and control your insignificant aesthetic problems naturally. Nobody needs a panel of uppity doctors to yell at them through the TV screen with sob-stories of people who have let their problems go on too long without ever visiting a real doctor. This show is one paternity test away from being Jerry Springer or The Maury Show.